Today is a scary day. The $500 housing deposit has been cashed, the $500 tuition deposit has been cashed, the $6,000 loan has been awarded to me, and the $244 one-way ticket to New York City has been purchased.
Why one-way you ask? Because you never know what might change in the next few months. I may want to stay an extra day, week, month, whatever. Some exciting opportunity may offer itself that might require me to stay longer than for just the program’s duration. Thus, the one-way ticket. I can always buy another one-way ticket back to Salt Lake City once I know what exactly my plans are.
The finality of everything (and the loss of so much hard-earned substituting dollars) is beginning to make me nervous. Doubts are creeping in, and then being washed out by excitement, and then creeping back. Much like that infamous itsy bitsy spider we are all so familiar with. Damn spider.
I remind myself that this is something I have wanted to do for a very long time, and that the past few months of hard work has paid off and now it’s just a matter of time and money before I get to embark on the next chapter of my life. It’s important to remember these things, because change is scary.
While New York City offers the restaurants, nightlife, youth and glitter that I have been aching for since moving to the middle of the desert to hang out with cowboys and children, there are still things I am going to miss terribly like my wonderful boyfriend and kitty.
45 days left until take off.